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The 2017 Ex-Seattle Mariners All-Playoff Team

Sunday, November 05, 2017
DAVID BIGELOW, Oregon Sports News

Like stalking your ex’s Instagram, it’s not a great idea to pay too much attention to how former-Mariners are doing with other organizations. For every player where you can say you’re better off without them, there are five that leave you sad and in need of a drink (or seven).  If you watched any of these playoffs, it would have been tough to avoid feelings of jealousy, as playoff rosters were littered with ex-M’s.  So, if you continue reading, make sure you have your drink of choice within arm’s reach.

Your Ex-Mariner All-Playoff Team:

Chris Taylor – LA Dodgers

The rise of future Hall of Famer Chris Taylor has been well documented. For more, just Google “Chris Taylor Samurai Sword” and hit the first link. Taylor’s hitting sensei should be call #1 for Dipoto this offseason.

Brandon Morrow – LA Dodgers

It turns out this first-round pick was meant for the bullpen. Seems he finally figured it out, and will be a valuable bullpen piece for the next three to five years. What are the odds the M’s can lure this guy back? A UPS driver friend of mine has confirmed that when making deliveries to Morrow’s Seattle-area crib, he would answer the door 100% of the time wearing an Xbox live headset.  It’s a shame the M’s cut the cord on Morrow before cutting the cord on his Xbox and seeing what kind of pitcher he could have been.  It seems we are finding out now.

Tyler Olson – Cleveland Indians

Gonzaga Bulldog and former Mariner Tyler Olson quietly had the best season of any left-handed specialist in baseball. An ERA of 0.00 isn’t too shabby. The southpaw continued his dominance in the ALDS against the tough Yankee lineup, slicing and dicing the likes of Brett Gardner and Didi Gregorious.  I would trade Marc Rzepcynski for Olson right now, even without considering the $2.5 million discrepancy in salary.

Ketel Marte – Arizona Diamondbacks

In four postseason games this recent ex-Mariner Hit .412 with an OPS of 1.235. That is all.

Fernando Rodney – Arizona Diamondbacks

The Fernando Rodney Experience was limited to one inning this year. Gave up a run, struck out two. Nothing to write home about, but this guy has 12.2 postseason innings pitched. None of which were with the M’s, in case you were wondering.

Adam Lind – Washington Nationals

Went 2/3 this postseason as a pinch-hitter. Hit .303 this season in 267 at-bats. To make matters worse, here are his averages from the last last four seasons:  .321, .277, .239, .303.  Guess which one was with the M’s?  Good guess.

Mike Montgomery – Chicago Cubs

Not a great post-season for “Monty,” as he is known by his inner circle.  His 16.62 ERA in 4.1 innings paled in comparison to his regular season line of 3.38 era and 1.21 WHIP in 130 innings.  This guy would have started twenty games for the M’s this season, which is much more than what Vogelbach did for us this season, unless the organization’s goal is to win the AAA Home Run Derby every season. Chalk this trade up to the “L” column for Jerry Dipoto. Can’t win ‘em all, I suppose.

Oliver Perez – Washington Nationals

Appeared in two games, pitched one inning. No runs, no strikeouts, no really interesting stats.

Taijuan Walker – Arizona Diamondbacks

According to MLB.com Walker’s nickname is “Tai-Weezy.”  This same website also tells me Tai-Weezy was removed after his first inning of post-season baseball, getting shelled in the Wild-Card game by the Rockies.

Doug Fister – Boston Red Sox

Similar to Tai-Weezy, “Fist,” as he’s known on MLB.com was shellacked in 1.1 innings of work this postseason.  He had a respectable year for the Red Sox. For those that forgot, Fister was dealt to Detroit in 2011 for Casper Wells, Charlie Furbush, and Francisco Martinez.  Sweet.

Carson Smith – Boston Red Sox

The 28 year-old pitched 1.1 innings and didn’t give up a run. In a comeback season from Tommy John, Smith pitched in 8 games and had solid numbers. Remember, the M’s traded Smith and Roenis Elias for Wade Miley and Jonathan Aro. The next year, the M’s then sent Miley to Baltimore in exchange for Ariel Miranda, who is a mysteriously similar pitcher to Roenis Elias.  It was a true left-handed back-of-the-rotation starter whirlwind, and in all of the commotion the M’s lost out on Carson Smith.

Leonys Martin – Chicago Cubs

A nice late-inning defensive substitution for a National League team, it was good to see Leonys get to experience the postseason for the first time in his career.

Josh Fields – Houston Astros

This former M’s first rounder got shelled in a wild Game 2 of the World Series, giving up back-to-back jacks in the 10th. Luckily for Josh, his team was able to come back and tie the game, before losing in the 11th.  He had a solid 2.84 era in 57 innings this year for the Dodgers, with an even more impressive .96 WHIP.  Not bad for a guy that couldn’t crack the M’s big league roster in his time in Seattle. Looking back at the Jack Z trade of 2011 that sent Bedard and Fields to Boston for Chich-Hsien Chiang and Trayvon Robinson.  This came one day after the Doug Fister trade.  In a matter of 48 hours, the Mariners exchanged the following players:

Acquired: Casper Wells, Charlie Furbush, Francisco Martinez, Trayvon Robinson, and Chich-Hsien Chiang.

Departed: Doug Fister, David Pauley, Josh Fields, Eric Bedard.

How did Jack Z keep his job for four years after this flurry of awful deals?  Did it take four years to realize that Trayvon and Chich-Hsien were not the answer to our prayers?

Cheers to no more trades like this.

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